Consideration

Is it just me or does it seems as if people are less considerate to others? Quite frankly I have developed a low tolerance for people with no home training. There are different levels in which consideration for others is lacking. Let me touch upon a few:

Lateness – it is not considerate to hold up someone else if you decide to be fashionably late to an event. Some people do like to be on time. If you are running a little late, that is ok, just let somebody know! A phone call, a text message, an email, smoke signals or something! There are so many ways to communicate now-a-days that there should be no excuse why you cannot tell someone that you are running late. On another note, if you know you are suppose to be somewhere at a certain time, don’t roll out of bed 10 minutes before you are supposed to be there. That my friend…is inconsiderate!

Attitudes – just because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, does not mean you need to take it out on the world. Don’t be rolling your eyes at me because you didn’t get your way or you had an argument with your man. I had nothing to do with it. Taking your problems out on other people is RUDE! They did nothing to you and do not deserve to get the wrath of the fire breathing dragon within you. I’m not saying go around acting like Mary Poppins, but just be cordial and have enough courtesy to be nice to others who are innocent! Check the attitude at the door and maybe you won’t make so many enemies. Having a mean mug on your face all day is not a friendly or approachable look! People will not want to be bothered with you, even if you are the sweetest person on the inside. If your mean mug is on 24/7, trust and believe that people will keep their distance.

Communication – sometimes it is not easy to let people you care about know how you truly feel. You may want to try and avoid hurting their feelings. By staying quiet you think you are sparing them the hurt. WRONG! You will find yourself in more problems then if you would just have told the truth from the beginning. The way I see it, anything can be said to anybody…it just matters how it is said. Being upfront from the beginning will make a huge difference, especially when it comes to relationships. My boy just got kicked to the curb after a year because the girl he was with just up and decided she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. That doesn’t make any sense. Obviously she was feeling some kind of way for a while. You just don’t wake up one day and say I want to be single after a year. When feelings change, people should communicate. Talk things through and see if changes can be made. I believe many friendships and relationships could be saved if people just learned to communicate! The truth shall set you free!

Hygiene – now this is a touchy subject, but damnit I am going to address it. Muskiness is not kool people! If you just worked out at the gym, don’t expect to still be fresh after you just sweated it out for about 40 minutes. I don’t need you next to me smelling musky. Take a damn shower and get zestfully clean! Don’t try to hide or mask your musk with body sprays or oils. That makes it worse! Additionally, deodorant is your friend! Invest in a speed stick and make all of us happy when you raise your arms. Bathroom courtesy is on the top of the list. I hate it when I walk into the ladies room and there is pee on the seat…turds in the bowl…tampon wrappers on the floor, toilet paper trails heading towards the door, etc…etc..etc… People are grown and don’t know how to clean up after themselves. If they make a mess in a public bathroom, I would hate to see how they keep the bathroom in their own house. Just nastiness! This lacks courtesy as other people have to use that bathroom. It irks me even more when I have a child and she says she has to go to the bathroom when we are out. I hate to say it, but I have to ask her to try and hold it until we get home as I am afraid she might catch something from those public bathrooms. I reiterate…No consideration whatsoever!

Mistakes – people are liable to make mistakes. Don’t go chopping off heads when someone makes a mistake. It’s called human error. Nobody is perfect. Be considerate enough to realize that people have a lot going on in their life. No need to dramatize and make it seem like the world is about to end. Everyone has a bad day and things might now go as planned. Be considerate enough to allow people to have those moments where things may just not be going right for them. Mistakes are sometimes hurtful in time or in money, but when there is a mistake, there is always a resolution. It may set back plans a little or cause more effort to be made, but the damage is down and it should not be dwelled upon. Forgiveness is important and taking mistakes as a learning lesion is important to ensuring the mistake can be prevented again. Be considerate to what others go through in their own lives!

Consideration is needed in order to respect one another. When consideration is gone out the window, it can come off as discourteous, disrespectful and rude! Check yourself so that you don’t fit into any of my categories above, but also so people do not see you as being totally inconsiderate!

Depression

Depression is a serious disease that plagues many people. Some people do not realize how serious depression can be. This disorder ruins lives and it is something that is hard to control. Emotions period…are hard to control. In an article from mindfully.org, is it said that one in five Americans are depressed or unhappy.

The survey involved almost 2,000 adults in six major US cities. Overall, 12% of those interviewed met the criteria for clinical depression, and 10% suffered from what Seidman calls frequent low mood. Signs of this can include difficulty sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, difficulty in concentrating, and an ongoing case of "the blues." (mindfully.org)

The article surveyed people in New York, Washington DC, San Francisco, Houston, Minneapolis, and Phoenix. The groups that reported the highest rates of low mood were people aged 18 to 24 (19%), the unemployed (18%), members of unmarried couples (17%), and women (13%).

http://www.mindfully.org/Health/One-In-Five-Depressed.htm

Stress is a big part of being emotional and depressed. It is the feeling as if you cannot do anything or don’t have control over anything. Some people may feel blue, but many people are clinically depressed and don’t even realize it. The constant feeling of being sad or sorry for yourself can affect ones self more than they realize.

Earlier this month the Archives of General Psychiatry released a much publicized study that one in 10 Americans is now taking antidepressants within the course of a year, making antidepressants the most prescribed kind of medication in the country. (Barber, 2009)

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/08/26/barber_age_of_anxiety/index.html

Why are so many Americans feeling this way? Why must so many be medicated? Is it the economy? Is it the lack of jobs on the workforce? The constant need of appreciation that is non-existent for many? Could it be the growing obesity in this country? So many factors lead to people being depressed. Stress can often lead to depression as well.

People do not take this disorder seriously. Emotions play a big part of how people carry themselves and interact socially. Ever wonder why that person in the corner of the room looks gloomy all the time? Do you know what goes on in their world? Ever wonder why people are not paying attention? Well often times they need help. Those who are not educated on depression do not see it as something to make a fuss about. Unfortunately, it is. Clinical depression, if not treated, can lead to suicidal thoughts or even suicidal actions. It is sad when someone cannot get by without taking a pill to ease their sorrowful thoughts.

If any of the following symptoms of depression are noticed, seek help as soon as humanly possible.

• A constant sadness
• No pleasure in anything
• Crying, feeling hopeless or constant negativity
• A decrease in energy levels
• Lack of concentration or ability to make decisions
• Sleep patterns that are disturbed (too much or too little sleep)
• Change in appetite and/or weight

http://ezinearticles.com/?Suicide-and-Depression---What-to-Look-For-and-Treatment-Options&id=2782081

If you or someone you know has any of the symptoms, do not feel ashamed to seek help or treatment. Know that many people out there suffer the same thing and depression can be managed. Emotions are hard to control and not everyone has the coping mechanisms to deal with life’s difficulties all the time.

Knowledge

Education: Noun - the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.

The more you know the better you are in your life. Whether it is street smarts or books, sometimes a combo of both is the most beneficial. Nowadays, learning and education are down played. Children are no longer being encouraged to be all that they can be. Teachers are only doing their jobs for a paycheck. The passion behind the art of teaching is gone. This is sad as the education being provided is half-assed.

The children coming home from school still need lessons in order to complete their homework. This is frustrating on parents. What are we paying taxes for? Teachers are not teaching our children to their full potential anymore. The passion to teach the children and then have them walk out the classroom fulfilled is no longer there. Teachers have a bad habit of labeling these children as hyper, ADD or even “basic”. This is false in most of the cases as all these children need are more nurturing. Not every child can pick up on certain concepts at the same speed. Everyone learns differently.

I can attest to the fact that I spent many a evenings teaching my daughter the day’s lesions just to get her to be able to complete her homework. I felt this is something that the teachers should be doing in school. The teachers can defend themselves and say that class sizes have increased and it’s almost impossible to teach so many kids in one day. This is not a good defense. These teachers are being paid to do a job and so many children are still being left behind. This all seems backwards to me, but I guess school is not what it used to be.

The art of education has been lost. Even being in high school, I can remember being smart got you made fun of. Getting A’s on your tests and someone always had something to say. I believe this is still happening today. The moments that these kids need to be learning, they are being influenced by peers and the streets. The wrong information is being loaded in these young minds. Watching music videos and sporting the newest sneakers is not the most important thing in life. These will not get them into the being the future’s next world leaders.

President Obama did not make it to be the president by sitting on the block or ditching classes. Oprah did not make it to being the richest black woman in the world by sitting there expecting a man to take care of here. Julia Roberts is not the most highly paid actress by not doing her homework. These people took advantage of their education and the opportunities to learn. They were also guided by the right people to get their education and be the best that they could be. Knowledge made these people who they are today. Being the president or the best actress just does not appear out of nowhere. They have the foundation (knowledge & education) to enhance their skills.

Without education, our children are misguided. If the teacher and parents do not show the passion for learning, then the children will not either. Our future relies on how well we prepare our children.

I look around at these children today and listen to how they talk and see how they need attention. They need to be guided and shown the right way so they can make something of themselves. So many people do not make it to college because they do not know about the many scholarships and grants out there. This is all in the know.

At the end of the day, it is what you know that will get you places in life. To be successful, it is a mixture of skill and knowledge. If you do not have the knowhow; your abilities are limited. Education is a big part of living and being all that one can be.

Foreword: It came down to this

This is the foreword of my novel that is a work in progress. Please let me know what you think!

Foreword – How it Began…

I stepped through the door and threw my keys on the side table. As I dropped my bags on the floor in the living room, something didn’t feel right. I called out, “Dante, are you home sweetie?” I looked around at the door and saw his timbs by the coat rack. I heard shuffling coming from the bathroom. I figured he must’ve been in the shower. I walked into the bedroom and smelled the sweet aroma of vanilla coming from the oil burning on top of the dresser. I followed a trail of his clothes all the way to the bathroom. I began to disrobe as well and made my way to meet him. I opened the door slowly as to not to make any noise. I tiptoed my way to the shower and pulled the glass door open. That’s when I saw HER!

It took me a minute to make sense of what I was witnessing. My man all over some light skin chick in MY shower! The chick shrieked and Dante almost fell out of the shower in shock of seeing me standing there naked before him. Caught, the niggah was caught! I shot him the most evil look and turned to go back into the bedroom. I went to my closet and pulled out my 9mm. I returned to the scene of the crime and pointed my 9 right at his head and said, “You got 1 minute to get that bitch and your shit and get out my house!” Dante was shocked and froze right where he was. “There is no use of standing still. You have 59 seconds to get the fuck out before I pull this trigger!” I cocked the gun and the boy began to panic. My focus was on him; meanwhile chick was screaming not knowing what to do. “Bitch you crazy! What the fuck you gonna do, shoot both of us?” I aimed my gun right in between her eyes and the bitch shut her mouth.

Now back to Dante. “30, 29, 28, 27…time is ticking Dante and you are still in the bathroom.” He grabbed his clothes in the bedroom, the bitch, and his timbs and slammed the door behind him. I ran to the window to watch him drive off in the benz I bought him. When he pulled off that is when the tear ran down my cheek. All I remember after that was sliding towards the floor with the 9 in my hand. I cried myself to sleep with the feeling that it all came down to this.

The next morning I woke up feeling shitty as if I had a hang over. I looked around myself and saw two bottles of Alize empty along side a wine glass. I got ripped last night and didn’t remember anything. I grabbed my head as I heard Billie Holiday blaring from my speakers. I made my way to the bathroom and almost lost it again when I had a flashback of Dante and that bitch in my shower. I took out my bleach and did what anyone else would do…I cleaned the hell out of that shower to the point where I had to open the window before I passed out from the fumes. I scrubbed and scrubbed fighting back my tears. I sat in the tub and turned the water on. I sat there in my clothes and let the water beat on my body. My mind was swirling out of control and I felt as if I was losing it.

I jumped as I heard a knock at my door. I pulled myself out the shower and made my way to the door dripping all over my floor. I looked through the peep hole and saw my mother behind the door. I was in no mood to hear your nagging so I just watched through the peephole in hopes she would walk away and leave me alone today. The Lord was watching over me as he knew I did not have the patience to deal with her today. I had to say Amen when she huffed and walked away.

I decided to disrobe and have a shower. I had to shake this off. It didn’t make sense. I got ready, did my hair, and grabbed my keys. I made my way down Rt. 287 and put a call into a psychology office one of my friends referred me to. I asked the receptionist to fit me in as it was an emergency. Thirty minutes later I was sitting in the waiting room getting ready to see a psychologist named James. “Was I going crazy? I was in need of psychotherapy? How could it all come down to this?” was what I thought to myself while sitting there waiting.

Ten minutes later, this tall white guy came strolling out from behind a door and said, “Kiara Johnson?” I jumped when he called my name, but I gathered my purse and followed him into a back office. I was somewhat nervous as I never thought I would be sitting in therapist office like this. He leaned back in his chair and asked, “So, Miss Johnson, what brings you in here today?” I let out a sigh and began to tell him my story. My name is Kiara Johnson and I am losing my mind.

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Relationships

Relationships can be a wonderful thing. On the other hand, they can destroy connections and even someone's sanity. Just like with everything else, it has its pros and cons.

I personally have lost faith in the thought of marriage. I know each relationship is what you make it. However, divorce rates are very high and it doesn't assure me that its worth the trouble just for a piece of paper. If the connection is there, the paper won't matter. It's the feelings that the two people have for one another.

In this day and age, relationships no longer last 50 years. You'd be lucky if you make it to 10. I believe that the passion to make it work no matter what has gone out the window. A partnership is working together and supporting one another through the storms. Nowadays people are selfish. Once the rocky times begin, they no longer want to be bothered. Selfishness turns into verbal abuse towards one another and then the relationship goes down hill from there.

Let me touch upon more of the concept of selfishness. It starts even before the relationship is formed. People date one another now to see what that other person can do or provide for them. The person's soul is no longer the most important to connect with. It's more in the lines of their credit, bank account, house, car, job, etc... This makes no sense. What happens when all those things are gone? Guess what? So is the relationship. Getting with someone under false pretenses is always the wrong thing to do. Everything will crash and burn in the end.

On another note, staying in a relationship due to material things or the if the sex is good, is bad. Not only will you tear yourself down in the end, but the relationship will leave a scar on your heart. The multiple scars from past relationships will make it harder for the right one to win your heart due to the barricade that now surrounds it. This goes for men and women.

When a relationship has gone sour and it cannot be reconciled, get out. The longer you stay, the more damage will be done. That is not healthy at all. I can speak to this as I spent 5 years in and out of a relationship where the guy was manipulating me to get what he wanted. Love made me blind and dumb. I was taken advantage of and it scarred me real good. I finally found the strength to let it go and the higher beings have put forth a magnificent man before me. I feel rewarded for having the ability to walk away from the bad relationship.

Relationships can be tricky and definitely a lot of work. You have to be the one to determine if it is worth fighting for or healthier to just walk away. Relationships are suppose to uplift you and make you feel good. They are not suppose to bring you down or make you stressed all the time. There is nothing wrong with counseling if you really want it to work. Sometimes we need to learn how to be in a relationship. Not everything comes naturally.

Take a look at what kind of relationship you are in. Is it making you happy? Does it need some work? Are you miserable? Decide what is best and take action. Remember there is always a way to make things work, but if it is destroying you, then they are not the right person for you.

2012: My thoughts

The year 2012…it’s an interesting concept. There are various opinions on what will and will not happen. I have found a growing fascination with the idea. Will the world end or will we enter into a new age? There are comments that a big meteor will hit the earth. There is talk of major natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions, floods, tsunamis, fire, etc… Additionally, people have said there will be a planetary alignment that will cause the earth to reverse its natural spin or make it split in half and fall out of orbit.

All the various thoughts and rumors boils down to the one main question. Why? Some say that it is going to be god’s way of cleansing the earth of all the evil. Ok, I can see why the higher beings would be upset with the human race. Wars, hate, and violence plague the earth. Environmentalists will say that we have damaged the earth so badly that it has caused self destruction.

Then through my recent research, I have found that various cultures have predicted this. I find it funny how so many cultures have predicted the same occurrence. I am currently reading the book by Geoff Stray called, Beyond 2012: Catastrophe or Awakening? This reading is very informative as I never knew that so many different cultures had their own predictions. In this book there is an excerpt which is quite intriguing:

"There are too many “coincidences” here to use the word coincidence! Synchronicity, the word coined by psychologist Carl Jung to describe a meaningful coincidence, is doubly apt: syn means same; khronos means time." (Stray, 2009)

Are we officially doomed? From the Mayans to the I Ching, they all predicted in their calendars that in December 2012, we are going to go through the end or the beginning of a new era.

I do believe that we will experience devastation. However, I believe that it will be a cleansing of the earth. Some will survive to replenish into the new age. Life for the human race cannot be cut that short. We are only talking about 3 years from now. That is scary. There is no way to prepare, but to just sit back and let nature run its course. The higher beings have plans for us and this is their way of putting their point across that we are not taking care of each other or this planet.

I would be very interested to see the movie in which they made off of the concept of 2012. I think people should go see it as it could put some of the ideas into prospective. It could really get us to think what we are doing. However, it could be too late for any rectification.

For some useful information check out this website: http://www.greatdreams.com/2012.htm