Single mother = single daughters?

I read an article today on CNN.com titled “Single moms raising girls to remain single?” Now this caught my attention as I am a single mother raising a little girl. I found it quite interesting that the author of the article stated that sometimes parents can pass on their fears to their children. I believe that to be true. Growing up I’ve heard many times from my mother that you can’t trust a lot of men. However, my mother has been happily married for the past 30 years to my father. So where does such talk come from???

My mother told me about her past experiences with men and the horrible situations she went through. This is how I can understand that she is just preparing me to be cautious. Currently being in the dating game, I can agree with her statement. Though this may sound one sided, I am sure that guys heard the opposite from their parents. In general, people cannot be trusted. Our parents try to prepare us to deal with the world as we get older. Though a lot of time we have to learn on our own what dating, relationships, and love are all about.

The author of the article stated, “I won't say that my childhood experience is the sole reason for all the other unmarried successful women. However, it does provide some potential insight as to what may be holding women back from finding that potential mate.” This could be a good case in point. Many women maybe scarred from seeing their parents relationships fail so they lack the faith in relationships.

It is hard to deny the fears that single mothers experience. However, I believe it shows little girls that they do not need a man to survive. It is nice to be in love and have a man in your corner. However, single mothers can be proud they are setting an example for their daughters. I know that I try to teach my daughter to work hard and follow her passions. She sees me work hard and continue my education. I am fully independent and it brings joy to my heart that she wants to be just like me. She knows that I am single and hopes one day I find someone to share my life. She is also smart enough to know that regardless of me being single or not, that I am going to work hard and be independent. I think this is important for young women to understand. Women have struggled in the shadows of men for years and its about time we stand on our own.

I am not upset that I cannot find a man. I actually love the fact that I am not relying on a man to marry me and take me out of my parent’s house. I have done everything on my own. I have shown myself that I CAN DO IT! I have the confidence to take on anything and not rely on someone else to help me live my life and dictate my happiness. Little girls should be empowered with the same feeling.
I agree that some traits good or bad are passed down to our children. However, if they understand where you are coming from and shape their own destiny, it would not be considered raising girls to remain single. This was an interesting concept…it makes you take a look at what you inform your children with. Hopefully its tips and not laws on how to live…they need to find out what works out best for them.

Link: http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/05/06/rr.single.moms.single.daughters/index.html