Socialize

Social interactions have become more virtual than reality. I say this because we have begun to rely on text messaging, blackberry messaging, and instant messengers in order to stay in contact with one another. The days of actually meeting up with someone or having a telephone conversation are far and few. Why bother when I can easily send a text message to my buddy about plans this weekend? I can also just email contract and invoices to my clients. No need to waste time with a useless phone call. Even though most cell phone plans offer a few hundred minutes with their services, but offer the best option of all. UNLIMITED DATA PLANS! This means I can text, picture mail, bbm, and instant message all I want without added charges. What better way than to detach myself from actual conversation? Everything is done virtual now. Even down to video conferencing from our friends Skype and Oovoo. No need to meet someone to have an actual meeting or a first meet. Just hope on webcam with your mic and you are good to go!

I have to say that I am quite frustrated as a single female trying to get back out there. It’s so much easier to hope onto these social sites and meet new people. The pressure of 1^st impressions is less because the physical part is not a concern. You can be in your jammies and hold a decent conversation with someone. You can get to know all about them before you two even exchange the digits. The frustration comes when you do eventually talk on the phone, that person who typed a mile a minute is now silent. So the two of you are now sitting at Applebees or TGIFridays and awkward silence is the key for the night. It’s a competition to see who can say less. The convenience of hiding behind your computer, sidekick, or blackberry is no longer there. Therefore, you or your silent partners are afraid to say anything that might hurt the flow of things. What’s even better is sitting right across from one another and you are still texting from across the table. “You have a pretty smile.” “You are sexy.” “You look good tonight” “You look better in person!” This is disgraceful if you can text a one liner to each other’s phones but can’t even form the words to speak and create an actual conversation. Just sad! As time goes by and the meal comes to an end you are now having second thoughts about this person and how you initially felt about them. However…once you both hit your cars and are on your way, you both return to texting your feelings away. Does no one see something wrong with this? The art of communicating has been disrupted by devices. Real interactions are far and few nowadays. Am I the only one missing the personal touch?

Dating is almost nonexistent as well. No one asks, “Can I take you to dinner?” or “Can I take you out sometime?” It’s gotten to the point where all you hear is, “When we hookin up?” or “When you gonna come see me?” We all know what those phrases mean. It’s just a bootycall. Relationships lack substance or people have “relationships” confused with bootycalls. Sorry but hittin it does not mean we are in a relationship. Sex does not solidify anything and that’s where people will get it twisted. Don’t sit by the phone and go crazy texting the next day because that one night stand was just that. A one night stand. Feelings get hurt because things were misunderstood and intentions were not plainly expressed. Why? Lack of communication. I know for a fact that sometimes people are afraid to put their true intentions out there in fear of rejection. This way they get what they want and just ignore the person afterwards. That is always fun. The mind games that turn into stalkers or even enemies. Next thing you know the woman or man is feeling some type of way and they won’t open up for the next person that comes along.

The capability of courting has been hindered by many things, but lack of communication is one them. It’s easier to back out of date just by sending a nice little text saying, “Sorry, can’t make it.” This way you don’t have to hear the sadden tone or see the disappointment from the other person. Just let it stand as written with no explanation. See how easy that was! “Hiding behind the type.” That’s what I call it. No other way to define it. When it’s easier for you to express yourself through texting, emailing, or instant messaging, you hide behind the words you type.

There is no need to worry about running up the phone bill anymore. There is no more spending countless hours on the phone until the early morning. You have the convenience of talking to various people simultaneously. The better part of it is that you can do it anytime of the day. At work, during class, during a meeting, on the toilet, in the shower, in bed, on the go, etc….This is a good thing. You can stay in touch with people whenever you want. The bad part about it, is that you are available whenever as well. You can no longer say, I didn’t get your message. If someone is trying to get in touch with you rest assured they will text you first. If no response, they checking instant messenger. If that fails, they will email you, and then the last resort will be to call and leave a voicemail. Then there is no way around it. You have to respond in some form. If you don’t then you will either get stalked. The phone will continue to ring and ring and ring. Your instant messenger will get pinged and buzzed off the hook. You have no place to hide there buddy! They will find you! Your solitude is no longer existent because now everyone knows exactly how to get to you. They have too many options, whereas before our virtual convenience, if someone didn’t pick up their phone, we had to wait.

To get to the point, I have realized that I have been hiding behind the type for too long. I want to socialize with people face to face and hold real conversations. I think a lot of relationships and friendships could be saved or even maintained if things were done how they used to. I have cut a lot of people out of my life who just wanted to keep a type relationship with me. Sorry, but if you don’t have the balls to communicate via phone call or actually see me, then it’s not gonna work. My friendships will not rely on a text every few months or an email here and there. I refuse to get updated on your whereabouts via twitter or your facebook status. That is sad, really sad. So to end this blog, I must encourage you to actually “Reach out and touch somebody…”